Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Online, offline -- whatever works

It probably goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway. While I'm a big believer in internet dating, I'm a bigger believer in romance. The point isn't to date online. The point is to date.

I encouraged (which sounds so much better than badgered) one of my friends to keep using Match.com, and she worked on it. At the same time, she got herself out into the world in various other ways. One day she was out hiking with a group, and someone had pointed out a geographical coincidence between her and one of the other hikers. As they worked their way along a beach (if I have the story right), they talked, and over time she noticed that, whereas she was rather automatically picking up bits of trash as they went, only one other person in the group was doing it, and it was the guy she'd been talking with. Hmmm.

That was half a year ago, and now he's helping her pick out bathroom fixtures.

You've got a finite amount of energy, both physical and emotional. Internet dating is a good way to manage that energy, because you can meet a lot of people with a relatively modest investment. On the other hand, you might meet someone the way my friend did, and you should keep yourself open to the chance meeting.

You can't do everything, so do the things you want to do anyway. If you're having fun, you're recharging your energy, not expending it. If you're rewarded by your pastime, you don't need to care whether you meet someone interesting while doing it. And even if you're not actively looking, you might be found.